from your RASH.
By JACQUES NECHQUES. Recommended number of wine glasses before reading this piece:
Yet Another Opportunity to Start Again
o-overs are what being human is all about (not to mention stretching the rules of good grammar). It's in our nature, is it not, to want to erase our past mistakes (if not learn from them) and start anew. Fortunately, once again, we've stumbled upon just such an opportunity, what with this being News Year's Day and all. Happy New Year. Everything's comin' up roses.
Ifn I was the kind of guy who liked to wax eloquent (in my own mind, anyway) I'd wax eloquent in this column (it's a COLUMN, okay? NOT news) about stuffy, lofty, noble goals and aspirations. Actually, I am such a guy. I absolutely love to wax. And sound eloquent. Basically use a lot of words to say very little. It's my speciality.
Fortunately (for the Curious Web Surfer), I'm not gonna wax much more than I already have in this column. Basically, I've used quite a few words (some of them multi-syllabic) to say quite a little.
But before you breathe that sigh of relief too deeply, let me add one more tidbit of meaningless drivel: I have only one Resolution to make for this year: Lose the weight & re-attain health and vigor. One might consider that to be two (if not three) resolutions, yet that position only allows me to further annoy the CWS with more incoherent and weird dorkiness (while still sounding somewhat high-brow, don't you think?). Yet, I won't.
However, I do need to say this: 2017 is going to be what you make it. Your well-being is not dependent on the news cycles. On which famous celeb dies. On what new executive order is handed down. Or what your mother-in-law thinks about that casserole you're going to make for Easter.
To paraphrase former morning TV host David Hartman, Go out there and make it a great year.
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